Do the Maths in 2009

I received this email yesterday which made made me laugh but made you think at the same time. You can work out where I have edited certain references to minority groups so as not to get bombarded should they take offence – its a worry. Enjoy

1.Teaching Maths in 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100..
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20..
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands.

Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the
logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be
offensive to religious groups not consulted in the
felling licence.

He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety
legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something.

He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he
does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore
considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal.

His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government
agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100
because he is such an easy target.

When he is released he returns to find an unkown group has cut down half his
wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is
arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and
fined a further £100.

While he is in jail the unknown group cut down the rest of his wood and sell it
on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a BBQ of
squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish
and asbestos sheeting.

On release, the logger is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped
rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is
arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced
£12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government
contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20
profit by hard work, gives up, signs onto the dole and lives off the
state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan
to buy a new lorry, as his bank has spent all his money and their money on
a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in
Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a
few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who
made the biggest losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry.
However, as it was built in the 1970s, it no longer meets the emissions
regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some foreign loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it
back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send
their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and
their relatives.

If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at
the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to
the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again.

The logger protests, is accused of being a bigot and a racist and, as his
name is on the side of his old lorry, he is forced to pay £1,500
registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses
are not cheap. The politicians feel they are missing out and claim the
difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.